Namasté mother f%*#&$

Hello folks, here is today’s topic, dealing with stress. I believe that there are 2 types of stress, removable and permanent. Here are some of my personal examples of removable and permanent stressors that are in my life currently, and how I plan on dealing with them.

Removable Stressor #1: Driving anxiety.

You know when you’re driving, and I don’t mean Miss Daisy style, you’ve got the music pumped, your flying on the highway and then… you hear the sound of a siren. Oh F@&#!! You slam on the brake and quickly look in your rear view mirror for the cop riding your ass to pull you over. There’s no cop, it was in the song you were listening to. REMOVABLE stressor!

Solution: Either you can slow down (yawn), or you can write a letter to the lovely Rhianna and let her know that her songs are causing inner turmoil and please stop putting sirens in your songs. Thank you, I love you so much.

Removable Stressor #2: Running late for work because you can’t pick an outfit out.

Haven’t we all been there? You get up, spend just that extra bit of time doing your hair, or your make up, or cuddling with your cat, or dancing in front of the mirror, or recalling a conversation you had yesterday. Whatever reason, you leave getting dressed to the last minute, you put on the clothes and damnit, the first, second, third, and fourth outfits don’t look good today. I generally scream at this point and come home to a giant mess!

Solution: Obviously picking out your outfit the night before helps, but come on; it’s not going to happen. The real solution: Empty out that closet and dresser and spend the time picking what you want to wear. Is your work really going to stop if you’re an extra ten minutes behind? Why get so worked up! Just tell your boss that your heel broke and you had to go change your shoes! For any of my co-workers reading this, you can't use my line!

Permanent Stressor #1: I believe in my life I only have one true-life long stressor. My health.

For those of you who don’t know I have a random, very exciting, blood clotting disease. Which from time to time can cause me some issues. Needless to say, a lot of my stress stems from this.  How do I cope with it? Well upbeat readers, not very well, ha, but given the life changing road I am on, I’ve come up with a solution to cope which I thought I would share with you!

Solution: Booze and drugs!! Ha no I’m kidding, kind of.. No seriously, the real answer: Deep breathing. Have you ever noticed that whenever you are really worked up, simply clearing your mind for 30 seconds and focusing only on your breath calms the nerves, the anxiety slows and you can think logically?

I have recently found my new favorite yoga teacher. I do private lessons with her (yes you can too, just ask me) and it is truly amazing how, even though she likely has no idea, she is helping me break through tension I didn’t even realize was there. Through the last few sessions I have noticed a lot of intense emotions coming out. Emotions that I didn’t feel I was capable of having, given that I am the ice queen.

Which, my friends, brings me to the lesson of today’s blog. While I suggest that everyone go see my dear friend, the yoga instructor, I realize not everyone is into yoga. I believe that as long as you are able to find an outlet for you to sit with your emotions in a calm and peaceful state you can break through anything.

So, besides the alcoholic girls night out binge, Yoga is my release, what’s yours?

Stay strong my friends, drink Dos Equis, Namaste.

Life Lesson Learned: Wheatgrass

Good morning folks! Today’s blog is about something I do unknowingly. Ha, ok I do it knowingly who am I kidding. Which makes me laugh because it is such a bratty thing to do… I’m still giggling. Today you will find out a dirty little secret of mine and I will reveal why, even though it is so fun to do, it can come back and be a pain in the ass. Literally.

My dirty little secret, ok here it is. I’m stubborn, and not just stubborn for things I believe in, silly things. I want to be right, all of the time. Having this trait is my favorite past time to tease/frustrate the people I love most. You lucky devils!

Well, now that I’ve said it, it’s out there. So here’s my story. Kevin and I are on a health kick. We both drink matcha everyday, fish twice a week, eating more veggies (for those of you who know me well you know that’s pretty impressive), working on more fruit and next is getting back to going on hikes. Bikini season is coming up and I have bulked up enough during our not so cold winter eating bag after bag of Miss Vicky’s malt vinegar chips, and I’m not taking the cute little bags, I mean those family sized monsters! Guilty pleasure.

Back to the topic here, health kick. Kevin recently purchased wheatgrass for us so we could start making shakes and fruit smoothies, what a sweetie! He, being the left hemisphere of the brain, is taking the precautious measures to look up recipes. Me, being mainly the right hemisphere, is getting impatient and wants to try to figure it out on my own. Make my own recipe! How hard can it be?

So we decided to make our first wheatgrass fruit smoothie last night. Peaches, strawberries, blueberries, blackberries and raspberries, and an old banana, yum! Add some milk/cream and now for the wheatgrass. Here’s how the conversation went, after I convinced him that we don’t need a recipe to tell us how much wheatgrass to use.

Kevin: “You want to blend the fruit first and then put in the powdered wheatgrass.”

Me: “No, the fruit has chunks, so when the blender starts, the funnel will suck down the powder and mix it in with the chunks. Then while the fruit is being chopped up the wheatgrass will get blended and distributed evenly.”

Kevin: “No, it won't. It’s going to explode on the top of the lid and become a chunky mess on the top layer of fruit.”

Now let me tell you something. Kevin is logically smart. I know this, and unfortunately he knows this. He thinks something through and 99.9% of the time is right. I love him for it, but man oh man does it ever drive me nuts!

Me: “Noooooo, the funnel will suck it down! This isn’t a big deal, it’s going to work!”

Next we have a discussion as to how much to put in. I put a scoop in. We both look at our very full blender and think, 1 scoop for an entire blender? No, no, lets put another. We both step back and look it over. Oh heck, lets add another little scoop. 2.5 scoops, on top.

Blender on, whoosh, and don’t you know it. There are green clumps on the top of the lid and clumps all over the top of the fruit. Kevin bursts out laughing, to the point where he’s crying. Grumble grumble grumble.

Me: “Just keep blending it, it will all get distributed evenly!!”

Kevin: Is still not able to talk over his over laughter… fine by me!

The fruit smoothie turned out great! We had to blend it a bit more than usual, but it was fantastic! The movie ended and it was time for bed. Ohhhh my tummy. Too much wheatgrass.

Moral of today’s story is simple; do not add too much wheatgrass to your drinks because it is a terrible pain in your rear!

:)

  

Taming the Lion

Hello positive readers,

I wanted to start off by apologizing for my atrocious grammar in my first post, embarrassing. I copy and pasted the wrong draft, but thank you all for seeing past that and leaving me such lovely comments!

Today’s insight is about taming the lion. I woke up this morning and was a lion. No joke. I yawed baring my teeth and then pounced on the nearest pray, sorry Kev. Crawled out of bed, looked in the mirror and let out a huge growl, “Oh my god, my hair!” The main of a lion! It’s really astonishing how I can go to bed, obviously looking like a goddess, and wake up looking like I belong on the Serengeti.

After I decided to make morning matcha’s for the king and I, play with Mittens and help groom Moufasa, it was time for this lioness to tidy up her own main. Straightening iron here I come!

I’m about 1/5 of the way done, which means I’ve really just turned the iron on, parted off my first section and looked in the mirror, saw that light bulb above my head and had came to write this.

20-30 minutes later, my masterpiece is done. I am walking a little taller, my chest puffs out a little and I tend to strut and flip my hair around like I’m on the runway. Please tell me I’m not the only one that does this, otherwise the rest of this post may be a little embarrassing!

Whenever I do this ritual, I have the same amazing feeling afterwards, so I move right on to the next stage feeling that much better. Make up is next, then pick the clothes to match today’s attitude, one last strut in front of Moufasa and Presto, I am ready! God damn, I am one sexy bitch! I love that feeling!I'm Sexy and I Know It - YouTube

I think us women need to feel this all the time. Whether we are doing domestics, driving around, working, whatever. How you ask? Well, today I am going to unveil a couple of my personal tricks to positively feeling fabulous!

PFF tip # 1:

When you are doing something domestic around the house, whether it be doing your hair, having a shower, dishes, laundry, cleaning up cat puke (yes, sadly, that’s a normal in my house) turn up that music and drop it like it’s hot .Whether you’re alone or not, (ha I rhymed) shake your butt like it’s going out of style!  (Not sure how to do this? Take a look here: Drop It Like It's Hot YouTube)

PFF tip #2:

Driving to work, to friends, to see family, to get gas, put your shiny lip gloss on, those over sized bug sun glasses, like all the rock stars wear, and sing at the top of your lungs. With or without your window being open. I highly recommend the song Baby Got Back or, I’m a Bitch, my personal favorites.I'm A Bitch, Baby Got Back

PFF tip # 3:

This is by far the most important, I believe. If you are walking around on the street, in the store, at work, basically anywhere in the public eye somewhere, smile. I don’t think enough of the world today is comfortable smiling, or saying hello to strangers on the street. The power of a genuine smile is under estimated. You will be amazed at how many people will not only return that smile, bringing out that goddess feeling, but even complimenting you on your radiant smile! Boosting that feeling even more.

Time does not always allow me to go through the personal ritual that I mentioned above, which sucks. Some days there’s just not always enough hours in the day, however, fellow lioness’, missing a step doesn’t stop me from positively feeling fabulous most of the time. Remember to smile genuinely, goof around and let out that growl when needed.

So ladies, how do you tame the lion?

Welcome, to me and my handbag

It just dawned on me, while watching the intro to a movie called Tuck Everlasting, that I have baggage. Yes, everyone has baggage, but what I am getting at is that in the movie, the girl is about to be sent away to boarding school and she doesn’t want to, so she runs away. She is wandering through the forest with nothing but her clothes. As I was watching her walk through the forest I felt excited and nervous and the same time. Why? Because I couldn’t help but think, where is her purse? Spare clothes? Toothbrush? Did she really just leave with nothing in her hands?

The movie is clearly based years ago, back when women wore white lacey dresses everyday, they didn’t own purses filled with rubbish to carry along with them as us ladies do now. That made me think, why do we need to carry around so much stuff with us now? Why have our lives gotten so much more complicated that we need to bring stuff with us at all times? You know that saying, you carry the world on your shoulders, well us women do, in our purses!

How amazing would it be to leave the house with nothing but your clothes on your back? No wallet, no cell phone, no ID, not ten different flavours of lip gloss, because really, how do you know which one you’ll be in the mood to use when the time comes? Nothing. Invigorating!

Yet unless we’re going to a casual stroll around the block you can’t get too far these days without the items I said above. I can’t get into my car without my car keys, can’t drive without my license, which is in my wallet. If it’s sunny, I better have my sunglasses with me. If I get lost, my cell phone will help me find my way. If I get my period, I better be prepared to have some feminine things with me. The list goes on and on with and my purse becomes heavier and heavier with all the things that ultimately could happen that I clearly need to be prepared for.

Guys seem to have it easy. They don’t wear make up so, they don’t need the 10 flavours of lip gloss, or the blush, in case they get pale half way through the day. They have a cell phone and a wallet. That’s it! Which they generally pawn off onto their women, in their purses! Hmm. Something doesn’t seem fair here.

Back to the main point here, me and my baggage. I think it’s time for a little unloading. Challenge of the week. Travelling light. Time to go through that bag of mine and take out some of the things that are truly weighing me down for no reason. Honestly, who needs to carry around a grocery, pharmacy and stationary store with them at all times? (Unless you’re a mom of course)

So ladies, I ask, what is unnecessarily weighing you down? Time to lighten up!