Under the Sea

“The seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake, you dream about going up there and that is a big mistake. Just look at the world around you, right here on the ocean floor, such wonderful things around you, what more is you looking for?”

As I was listening to my favorite soundtrack this morning, Disney CD, go ahead and laugh, dancing around to Under the Sea, that light bulb popped up again and here I am.

Lately, I’ve been in a bit of a funk. Not too sure why, but I have. I recognize it, but in true woman fashion, no offense ladies, I’ve been analyzing the shit out of what could be causing it. Maybe I’m not getting enough sleep, maybe too much, maybe it’s work,  maybe I need more vitamins, exercise, travel, maybe, maybe, maybe, blah blah blah. Clearly, I don’t have an answer to what is going on, but what I do know is that my mind and body is trying to tell me something.

The next few weeks, or however long it is going to take me, I am going to hone in on what direction I need to take. I thought you would be interested in just how I plan to do this.

Make a list. My sister is weeping with joy and she has no idea why…. yet. Categorize what is going on. All those thoughts that are going through your head are valid for some reason. If they are simply thoughts passing through your mind that are getting caught in the web, mark it down anyways because you’ll find out later in the next steps whether or not they are just trapped flies or dinner for the spider for later.

Where to start? I always begin with one of the easiest and less stressful tasks on my list. By the time I’m done figuring it out, I feel so inspired to move on to the next one, thinking, “well that wasn’t so hard.” A trick I have learned is to alternate the easy and tricky ones, this keeps me feeling motivated to try the next phase.

As always, break everything down into baby steps. There is no point trying to tackle everything all at once. Think of it like going into the batting cage and having 10 baseballs flying at you all at the same time. You may hit one of those balls, if you’re lucky, but the rest will likely hit you, hard and fast and the bruises start to show. 

Be confident. Making choices is scary. I am ashamed to admit, I am one of those people, who would love to have someone by their side all day long making life decisions for me. Walk up to a puddle, or walk around the puddle? Around, you have work to go to after this. Salad or that delish greasy burger? Salad dear, you’ve had beef all week!  Yes I have my trusty devil and angel on my shoulders but they just banter back and forth. Really unhelpful if you ask me! 

I know that I have my work cut out for me, but since I’m already on this long road of enlightenment, I can continue untangling some of my deep, uber messy knots. This is not easy. Sometimes you pull and pull, and with each tug you’re trying to untangle the mess, but ultimately it just hurts. Remember to take a breath and that you don’t need to shove that comb in to the middle of the knot, but start at the edges and work your way through it. Yes it will be uncomfortable, but eventually it gets easier and then the knot is gone.

Sebastian, you handsome Jamaican Crab, thank you for helping another lost red head in need.

 Over and out

Traveling Pants - unzipped edition

Good morning readers,

Today is a celebration. What about? My 2 months of early morning, late nights, rinse, lather and repeat, are over, for now at least. Moufasa and Mittens are quite happy that I have packed away my suitcases and over night bags and my toothbrush is back where it should be.

My herd and I traveled all around the lower mainland, up north and then into a neighboring province. I was so blessed to really get to know my pack while I was on the go, for better or for worse we were together. I certainly recognize the strengths in those around me now more than ever. I thought I would pass along some of my traveling pants wisdom for any of you who wish to know what I experienced.

Waking up early. Waking up at 6 or 7 am, psh, no problem! I would love to wake up at 6:00 everyday to be honest. Why? Who doesn’t enjoy extra time to cuddle with the kitty, shake their booty in front of the mirror, do some sit ups and have the time to choose the right outfit and makeup for the attitude of the day? It’s also getting the chance to review how your day is going to go ahead of time. Today is going to be a fabulous goddess day!

Now, I wish that I could say the same warm feeling rolls over me when 4 or 5 am comes around and my alarm chimes. 4am and I do not get along, we never really have. Waking up this ridiculously early puts me out of whack as I generally I dream about sleeping through my alarm, therefore waking up every hour on the hour in a panic. Shit, I missed my flight! I was supposed to pick up the girls an hour ago! My alarm rings and I open those gorgeous eyes of mine only to hear them scream, wtf are you doing, it burns, turn off the lights!! Well that certainly sets the mood of the day, forget a quick morning exercise, there is no mirror crunking and butt shaking, no cuddle time with the kitty, which in turn pisses her off, and forget attitude clothing/makeup coordination! At this obscene hour in the morning, I’m lucky if I can get the mascara on my lashes and not in my eyes or on my lids, and the shoes on the right feet. My tummy is flipping and flopping, completely unimpressed with everything and my mind is a clear slate. Sounds like the only good thing here, right? No, there is no pre planning for this morning beauty so my day is unorganized. YIKES!

I know that I generally end this sort of thing with a wonderful uplifting quote or words of wisdom, not today folks. 4:00am and I will continue to be mortal enemies, avoiding each other like the plague. I believe that everyone has their Kryptonite and I think it’s how you handle yourself when you are faced with your enemy that matters. Keep strong, smile if you are around others and stay positive, I could have had to wake up at 3:00. Which

Keep that smile. I know I have written about this before, the power of a smile. It truly goes a long way. It saddens me to realize just how many people live their lives without recognizing this simple super human power. 43 muscles to frown, plus more wrinkles, 17 to smile, do the math! Being in the industry that I am in I need to smile, defuse personality clashes, co-ordinate multiple people at the same time, problem solve and be charming, even to those who are not so pleasant in return. I see now, these traits are not as natural to others. I believe that the lesson here is 1, choose your traveling pack carefully and 2, maintain your inner balance. Remember that other people’s mood should not affect yours. You are your own temple; do not let someone take your thrown.

Hey, wait up! With or without you, life moves on.  I picture it like being a hamster running on a wheel. The hamster gets thrown off, but the wheel keeps turning. Such is life. The trick is being able to jump back in the wheel while it’s still rolling without being thrown out again. The amount of work that piles up while away can be quite overwhelming. Again, the trick is how you go about accepting it. Yes, parts of me wish to burry myself underneath the wood shavings and let that wheel turn, but the bigger part of me is excited to see how many times I’ll loose my footing and tumble around the wheel before I get thrown out again. Muster up the courage to try it all over again, knowing that eventually I will be able to jump into that wheel and keep up with it.

I am so grateful to be done this section of this year, my body and mind is screaming for closer attention. The majority of the past 2 months has been about work; it is time to refocus on myself. Time to listen to that inner voice, let me rest, let me socialize and let me exercise! Now to release some of internal baggage which has caused me to put on a few pounds. Lighten up time. Purse challenge done, now to unload my mind.

What is your inner voice screaming about?

The Good, The Exciting, and the Embarassing

Hola friendly readers, it’s been awhile since my last post. Why? I was getting a little extra vitamin D down in Cuba with my man. Arrive home and the next day I'm off to the cold dustiness of Edmonton for work. While there, I met up with a cousin I had not seen in 8 years! When I returned from that, it was to Victoria for another work trip, and then I got the pleasure of seeing my step father for some amazing baked oysters.  

Now I can rest... So,

I thought I would let you know what I experienced down south, insert sexual innuendo here. Let’s call this segment: The good, the exciting and the embarrassing.

We stayed in Varadero, the touristy area of Cuba. Unreal crystal blue waters, sands made mostly of crushed shells and stunning crashing waves! The first thing Kevin and I wanted to do was go swimming, naturally. So off we went! Kevin, being 6’2, and I, being 5’1, had a slight advantage over me in these waters. 

I remember looking up at one point and realizing that Kevin was a good 20 feet ahead of me and before I knew it, a wave got the best of me. By the time I was able to get myself out from the brown and white crash of the wave, the next had come and down I went again. I did eventually feel Kevin’s wonderful hand rescue me and pull me out. That was when I was met with his roar of laughter. He had pulled out a sea monster. My face, body, hair, everything covered in sand and shells. I hope you’re picturing it. That was when I learned the lesson of the power of natural waves.  Mother Nature 1, Me 0.  It was fun and exhilarating, but it was time to get the entire cast of The Little Mermaid out of my hooha.  Ahhh, much better!

I recognized more than ever on this trip, how lucky I am to have Kevin around. Solely for his height! Ha, I joke, I do also kind of like him a bit too. One of our trips was on a Katamaran which included some snorkeling and a visit to swim with dolphins. I loved these dolphins, such character and so cuddly! A group of 15 of us jumped into their pool and stood in a line on a raised block. If Kevin had not been with me, I would have missed out on this opportunity. The water was well above my head, so I clung onto him, and got to thoroughly enjoy that experience! Thanks Kevin!! See you later Flipper!

Now, the snorkeling. This was an eye opener for me. Lesson 1, put on flippers last. I tripped and jabbed so many people including myself. Ok, take them off and put them on when I’m sitting at the ladder. Ok, check. Lesson 2, when wearing flippers, don’t jump flat footed into the water. Face/belly flop will follow. Ok, check. That hurt. Lesson 3. If you’ve never snorkeled before, it’s probably best that you get the run down first! The day was windy, and cloudy, and 20 minutes later we had a tropical storm, so, I’m sure you can envision that the water was a bit choppy. Don’t worry, I had a floaty helping me! The current was pushing me away, and I couldn’t seem to figure out how to swim with those flippers. I put my face in the water and instinctively went to blow bubbles out my nose. Oh my god I can’t breathe!!! Yes, I forgot about the snorkel that was in my mouth! My snorkeling experience lasted about 2-3 minutes, embarrassing! We will try this again! 

Cuba was wonderful! It was a trip much needed before my busy summer comes. Relaxing on the beach with my man, and lots of heat. The vitamin D has sunk in and I’m feeling like I can take on the world again.

What did I learn on this trip? 

Number 1, I am so very lucky to have K-Dawg in my life. He is so patient, so considerate and very easy on the eyes. 

Number 2, I need to do yoga, even when on the go!

Number 3, I need to be able to ask for help/better direction when I need it.

Number 4, I will appreciate what I have in my life more often.

And number 5, Canadian food is amazing, we are blessed to have such variety. 

Inner tip of the day: Always surround yourself with good food, good friends and always keep your mind free, no matter where you are in the world.

Easter Bunny from Hell

Happy Good Friday! It’s been a few weeks since my last blog. Life whisked me away and took me to each end of Vancouver Island and then up to the beautiful interior. I’m back now, physically and mentally, ready to get some rest and relaxation this weekend and eat tons of chocolate!

This Easter there will only be 2 visits from the Easter bunny, instead of the usual three visits. Why? We are conjoining Moufassa’s family with mine for Easter. This will be the first time they have met. Exciting, right?

I’ll let you in on a little secret before I go on with this blog, set the scene if you will. The last 2 weeks have been pretty rough for me. Ok, you’re all adults here, I can say what it really was, it was  F#*@*^! Hell! This ice queen broke down once or twice and even had a couple anxiety attacks. I was feeling overwhelmed with organizing two back to back road trips, my vacation, doctors appointments, keeping up with my workload on the road, complications will all of the above AND of course the lovely Mother Nature stopping by simultaneously was the icing on the cupcake, nice timing bitch. The ground seemed to open up and swallow me whole.

 I did attempt to write a blog in the middle of all that, 3 actually, which were not suitable for you, my angelic, positive readers. Yes, I’m ashamed to say, my demons came out and created a ruckus! On the way down, my horns came out and even yoga couldn’t calm this beast. My body became so rigid and tight; my mind couldn’t focus and my blood boiled instantly at the silliest of things.

The fiery pits of the underworld did eventually spit me back out and here I am. I felt like a solar system. My emotions and all the information I took in during this 2-week period were orbiting my head. Not only was I becoming dizzy watching it all circulate my head but it also threw off my equilibrium, I was completely off balance! Enough is enough, time to start flicking away the bits and pieces that were weighing me down! As the weights disappeared, I was finally able to take that much needed beautiful deep breath and feel the wonderful fresh crisp air that is Spring in Vancouver.

Back on topic, the upcoming family gathering. With all that fantastic energy I had going on, please note sarcasm, I had been dreading this relationship milestone for the last couple weeks. The more I thought about it, the more anxious I became. The more anxious I became, the deeper I went into the underworld. Thinking much clearer now, I am able to recognize that there was really no reason to be nervous about this event. Ugh, I really dislike realizing and admitting when I’ve been irrational!

What did I learn from this, besides the obvious fact that I become a devil once a month? I am stunned and a bit embarrassed to say, that I become a negative Nancy when I’m overwhelmed! Clearly I missed the memo that I am a positive person all month long!

To all my readers, remember that it is ok to be overwhelmed and acknowledge that inner bitch.  It’s not always necessary to hold it all inside and do everything yourself. It’s good to ask for help and support. And as always, remember to keep breathing, it’ll keep you from turning into a scary red demon.

Namasté mother f%*#&$

Hello folks, here is today’s topic, dealing with stress. I believe that there are 2 types of stress, removable and permanent. Here are some of my personal examples of removable and permanent stressors that are in my life currently, and how I plan on dealing with them.

Removable Stressor #1: Driving anxiety.

You know when you’re driving, and I don’t mean Miss Daisy style, you’ve got the music pumped, your flying on the highway and then… you hear the sound of a siren. Oh F@&#!! You slam on the brake and quickly look in your rear view mirror for the cop riding your ass to pull you over. There’s no cop, it was in the song you were listening to. REMOVABLE stressor!

Solution: Either you can slow down (yawn), or you can write a letter to the lovely Rhianna and let her know that her songs are causing inner turmoil and please stop putting sirens in your songs. Thank you, I love you so much.

Removable Stressor #2: Running late for work because you can’t pick an outfit out.

Haven’t we all been there? You get up, spend just that extra bit of time doing your hair, or your make up, or cuddling with your cat, or dancing in front of the mirror, or recalling a conversation you had yesterday. Whatever reason, you leave getting dressed to the last minute, you put on the clothes and damnit, the first, second, third, and fourth outfits don’t look good today. I generally scream at this point and come home to a giant mess!

Solution: Obviously picking out your outfit the night before helps, but come on; it’s not going to happen. The real solution: Empty out that closet and dresser and spend the time picking what you want to wear. Is your work really going to stop if you’re an extra ten minutes behind? Why get so worked up! Just tell your boss that your heel broke and you had to go change your shoes! For any of my co-workers reading this, you can't use my line!

Permanent Stressor #1: I believe in my life I only have one true-life long stressor. My health.

For those of you who don’t know I have a random, very exciting, blood clotting disease. Which from time to time can cause me some issues. Needless to say, a lot of my stress stems from this.  How do I cope with it? Well upbeat readers, not very well, ha, but given the life changing road I am on, I’ve come up with a solution to cope which I thought I would share with you!

Solution: Booze and drugs!! Ha no I’m kidding, kind of.. No seriously, the real answer: Deep breathing. Have you ever noticed that whenever you are really worked up, simply clearing your mind for 30 seconds and focusing only on your breath calms the nerves, the anxiety slows and you can think logically?

I have recently found my new favorite yoga teacher. I do private lessons with her (yes you can too, just ask me) and it is truly amazing how, even though she likely has no idea, she is helping me break through tension I didn’t even realize was there. Through the last few sessions I have noticed a lot of intense emotions coming out. Emotions that I didn’t feel I was capable of having, given that I am the ice queen.

Which, my friends, brings me to the lesson of today’s blog. While I suggest that everyone go see my dear friend, the yoga instructor, I realize not everyone is into yoga. I believe that as long as you are able to find an outlet for you to sit with your emotions in a calm and peaceful state you can break through anything.

So, besides the alcoholic girls night out binge, Yoga is my release, what’s yours?

Stay strong my friends, drink Dos Equis, Namaste.

Life Lesson Learned: Wheatgrass

Good morning folks! Today’s blog is about something I do unknowingly. Ha, ok I do it knowingly who am I kidding. Which makes me laugh because it is such a bratty thing to do… I’m still giggling. Today you will find out a dirty little secret of mine and I will reveal why, even though it is so fun to do, it can come back and be a pain in the ass. Literally.

My dirty little secret, ok here it is. I’m stubborn, and not just stubborn for things I believe in, silly things. I want to be right, all of the time. Having this trait is my favorite past time to tease/frustrate the people I love most. You lucky devils!

Well, now that I’ve said it, it’s out there. So here’s my story. Kevin and I are on a health kick. We both drink matcha everyday, fish twice a week, eating more veggies (for those of you who know me well you know that’s pretty impressive), working on more fruit and next is getting back to going on hikes. Bikini season is coming up and I have bulked up enough during our not so cold winter eating bag after bag of Miss Vicky’s malt vinegar chips, and I’m not taking the cute little bags, I mean those family sized monsters! Guilty pleasure.

Back to the topic here, health kick. Kevin recently purchased wheatgrass for us so we could start making shakes and fruit smoothies, what a sweetie! He, being the left hemisphere of the brain, is taking the precautious measures to look up recipes. Me, being mainly the right hemisphere, is getting impatient and wants to try to figure it out on my own. Make my own recipe! How hard can it be?

So we decided to make our first wheatgrass fruit smoothie last night. Peaches, strawberries, blueberries, blackberries and raspberries, and an old banana, yum! Add some milk/cream and now for the wheatgrass. Here’s how the conversation went, after I convinced him that we don’t need a recipe to tell us how much wheatgrass to use.

Kevin: “You want to blend the fruit first and then put in the powdered wheatgrass.”

Me: “No, the fruit has chunks, so when the blender starts, the funnel will suck down the powder and mix it in with the chunks. Then while the fruit is being chopped up the wheatgrass will get blended and distributed evenly.”

Kevin: “No, it won't. It’s going to explode on the top of the lid and become a chunky mess on the top layer of fruit.”

Now let me tell you something. Kevin is logically smart. I know this, and unfortunately he knows this. He thinks something through and 99.9% of the time is right. I love him for it, but man oh man does it ever drive me nuts!

Me: “Noooooo, the funnel will suck it down! This isn’t a big deal, it’s going to work!”

Next we have a discussion as to how much to put in. I put a scoop in. We both look at our very full blender and think, 1 scoop for an entire blender? No, no, lets put another. We both step back and look it over. Oh heck, lets add another little scoop. 2.5 scoops, on top.

Blender on, whoosh, and don’t you know it. There are green clumps on the top of the lid and clumps all over the top of the fruit. Kevin bursts out laughing, to the point where he’s crying. Grumble grumble grumble.

Me: “Just keep blending it, it will all get distributed evenly!!”

Kevin: Is still not able to talk over his over laughter… fine by me!

The fruit smoothie turned out great! We had to blend it a bit more than usual, but it was fantastic! The movie ended and it was time for bed. Ohhhh my tummy. Too much wheatgrass.

Moral of today’s story is simple; do not add too much wheatgrass to your drinks because it is a terrible pain in your rear!

:)

  

Taming the Lion

Hello positive readers,

I wanted to start off by apologizing for my atrocious grammar in my first post, embarrassing. I copy and pasted the wrong draft, but thank you all for seeing past that and leaving me such lovely comments!

Today’s insight is about taming the lion. I woke up this morning and was a lion. No joke. I yawed baring my teeth and then pounced on the nearest pray, sorry Kev. Crawled out of bed, looked in the mirror and let out a huge growl, “Oh my god, my hair!” The main of a lion! It’s really astonishing how I can go to bed, obviously looking like a goddess, and wake up looking like I belong on the Serengeti.

After I decided to make morning matcha’s for the king and I, play with Mittens and help groom Moufasa, it was time for this lioness to tidy up her own main. Straightening iron here I come!

I’m about 1/5 of the way done, which means I’ve really just turned the iron on, parted off my first section and looked in the mirror, saw that light bulb above my head and had came to write this.

20-30 minutes later, my masterpiece is done. I am walking a little taller, my chest puffs out a little and I tend to strut and flip my hair around like I’m on the runway. Please tell me I’m not the only one that does this, otherwise the rest of this post may be a little embarrassing!

Whenever I do this ritual, I have the same amazing feeling afterwards, so I move right on to the next stage feeling that much better. Make up is next, then pick the clothes to match today’s attitude, one last strut in front of Moufasa and Presto, I am ready! God damn, I am one sexy bitch! I love that feeling!I'm Sexy and I Know It - YouTube

I think us women need to feel this all the time. Whether we are doing domestics, driving around, working, whatever. How you ask? Well, today I am going to unveil a couple of my personal tricks to positively feeling fabulous!

PFF tip # 1:

When you are doing something domestic around the house, whether it be doing your hair, having a shower, dishes, laundry, cleaning up cat puke (yes, sadly, that’s a normal in my house) turn up that music and drop it like it’s hot .Whether you’re alone or not, (ha I rhymed) shake your butt like it’s going out of style!  (Not sure how to do this? Take a look here: Drop It Like It's Hot YouTube)

PFF tip #2:

Driving to work, to friends, to see family, to get gas, put your shiny lip gloss on, those over sized bug sun glasses, like all the rock stars wear, and sing at the top of your lungs. With or without your window being open. I highly recommend the song Baby Got Back or, I’m a Bitch, my personal favorites.I'm A Bitch, Baby Got Back

PFF tip # 3:

This is by far the most important, I believe. If you are walking around on the street, in the store, at work, basically anywhere in the public eye somewhere, smile. I don’t think enough of the world today is comfortable smiling, or saying hello to strangers on the street. The power of a genuine smile is under estimated. You will be amazed at how many people will not only return that smile, bringing out that goddess feeling, but even complimenting you on your radiant smile! Boosting that feeling even more.

Time does not always allow me to go through the personal ritual that I mentioned above, which sucks. Some days there’s just not always enough hours in the day, however, fellow lioness’, missing a step doesn’t stop me from positively feeling fabulous most of the time. Remember to smile genuinely, goof around and let out that growl when needed.

So ladies, how do you tame the lion?

Welcome, to me and my handbag

It just dawned on me, while watching the intro to a movie called Tuck Everlasting, that I have baggage. Yes, everyone has baggage, but what I am getting at is that in the movie, the girl is about to be sent away to boarding school and she doesn’t want to, so she runs away. She is wandering through the forest with nothing but her clothes. As I was watching her walk through the forest I felt excited and nervous and the same time. Why? Because I couldn’t help but think, where is her purse? Spare clothes? Toothbrush? Did she really just leave with nothing in her hands?

The movie is clearly based years ago, back when women wore white lacey dresses everyday, they didn’t own purses filled with rubbish to carry along with them as us ladies do now. That made me think, why do we need to carry around so much stuff with us now? Why have our lives gotten so much more complicated that we need to bring stuff with us at all times? You know that saying, you carry the world on your shoulders, well us women do, in our purses!

How amazing would it be to leave the house with nothing but your clothes on your back? No wallet, no cell phone, no ID, not ten different flavours of lip gloss, because really, how do you know which one you’ll be in the mood to use when the time comes? Nothing. Invigorating!

Yet unless we’re going to a casual stroll around the block you can’t get too far these days without the items I said above. I can’t get into my car without my car keys, can’t drive without my license, which is in my wallet. If it’s sunny, I better have my sunglasses with me. If I get lost, my cell phone will help me find my way. If I get my period, I better be prepared to have some feminine things with me. The list goes on and on with and my purse becomes heavier and heavier with all the things that ultimately could happen that I clearly need to be prepared for.

Guys seem to have it easy. They don’t wear make up so, they don’t need the 10 flavours of lip gloss, or the blush, in case they get pale half way through the day. They have a cell phone and a wallet. That’s it! Which they generally pawn off onto their women, in their purses! Hmm. Something doesn’t seem fair here.

Back to the main point here, me and my baggage. I think it’s time for a little unloading. Challenge of the week. Travelling light. Time to go through that bag of mine and take out some of the things that are truly weighing me down for no reason. Honestly, who needs to carry around a grocery, pharmacy and stationary store with them at all times? (Unless you’re a mom of course)

So ladies, I ask, what is unnecessarily weighing you down? Time to lighten up!